Making adversaries of comrades

Purpose: Become aware of when we are choosing to make an adversary and challenge ourselves whether making an adversary is appropriate.

Adversaries are inevitable. Whether it be the competitor trying to take over your market share, a different department vying for control, or an individual with a competing objective.

Even when not a ‘leader,’ it matters how you choose to engage with others and to be aware of your default stance. It is disappointing when within the same corporation, individuals and teams choose to become adversaries. There’s often both systemic and individual reasons why groups and individuals become adversaries. Different goals may create friction between departments, mistrust, and personal lack of respect (legitimate or not).

Be wary of these patterns, else you may be too quick to create adversaries.

One- You commit to your impressions

This is a warning sign you’re likely to unconsciously conform to past patterns. People mess up, people are petty from time to time. When someone begins to change behavior to address the cause of the adversity or a person with a fresh perspective enters the situation, you might not see the opportunity to change the relationship.

Two- You default to confrontation

Adversarial is a description of the relationship, while confrontational is a description of an interaction. People who choose confrontation as their first response may over index on opposition and miss opportunities for creating partnerships. They will also find that some company cultures do not distinguish confrontational approaches from adversarial relationships.

Three – You give people “chances” to “do the right thing”

This sentiment itself is actually quite good, but can be corrupted by poor reflection on the standard being used. Nothing leads to an adversarial relationship quite like basing that decision on an arbitrary trial of virtue. Don’t be a petty tyrant, expecting a virtuous performance on your behalf. Instead seek to understand the other person’s character and let them be judged on that. Some people deserve to have adversaries.

 

Don’t be willing to quickly turn what could be an ally into an enemy. Creative people can find latitude to discover ways of working well despite significant systemic obstacles.