A Guide to Sports Analogies

The season is upon us.  Football is in the air. Baseball playoffs begin in a couple weeks.  This is the season of the terrible sports analogy.  Now here at roIQ we pride ourselves on being able to go deeper than the average worker.  Here is a list of some of our best ideas along with situations in which you could apply them.  Remember every analogy’s effectiveness is proportional to the passion with which you convey it.

You are running a button hook, we need a go route! – This phrase means that someone is thinking short, and you want them to think long.  Now what short and long are don’t really matter because analogies are only for those with beautiful minds and you should never have to explain yourself. Example: “Karen you are running a button hook, we need a go route!  Why invest in that market when we can try to buy an existing company, fire everyone, and do it ourselves ?”

A drop kick! – This is a drop kick.  It was popular in the 1930’s and is rarely seen since.  It is a high risk low reward move, but some people seem to think it is a great way to be innovative.  Be suspicious of anyone using this line.  Example: “I think avoiding email at all costs will show our customers we care.  A drop kick like that will definitely show our unique approach as a company.”

CTE – Essentially the modern version of beating a dead horse.  CTE is a reminded that everything has a limit to the number of times it can be battered around.  Sure to be a winner among the more meathead-ed of your coworkers.  Example: “Lets table the discussion of whether our group should be called the CSR group or the ECSR group before the onset of CTE.  If we keep debating adding an ‘excellent’ to our CSR team we will miss out on taco day in the cafeteria.”

Never make the first or last out at third. – This one is an old baseball aphorism.  Making those outs at third would imply you were taking an unnecessary risk.  Example: “Drake is right! You never make the first or last out at third. We should stop focusing on progress and let another group pick up our slack and drive in the run.”

I am hopeful that these will be of use to everyone who reads.  You can never have too many clubs in the bag when you swing for the fences.  Analogies are an arrow in the quiver of an MVP quarterback who finishes every meeting with a slam dunk.

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